You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I need a beard to bite.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
