32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
