My hair reeks of homosexuality.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Sorry about my life...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
