I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
