Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
