and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
