Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
