i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
