clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
