She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
