I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
