We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
