stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
