Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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