walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
