She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
