Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
