would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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