they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
