I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
