For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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