New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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