i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
