We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
