I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
