Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
