Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
