In the future we'll all be gay
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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