jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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