Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
