I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
