Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Walk of Shame today included voting.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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