You're so nebulous sometimes
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
