If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
