good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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