When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Randomize
