so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My ATM looks so different sober.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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