The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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