I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
