I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
