absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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