Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
