My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
