Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
