so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
