Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
