good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
