I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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