After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We had sex on a dog bed..
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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