So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
