I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
